Day 11 - Attachment to Self-Criticism

Begin with prayer -

"God, I believe that You are searching for me and I open my heart to You today. Please clear away the things that are blocking the door to my heart."

Meditation -

This is an attachment that can sink deep into our hearts and become our default way of relating to ourselves. Anything that happens can spark a self-critical response - seeing ourselves in a mirror, accomplishing something, not accomplishing something, seeing other people's lives, even hearing our own self-critical thoughts can spark more self-criticism! Why did you start believing these lies? It can seem like we're being honest with ourselves - however, criticism is always a distorted view of yourself, your faults, and your virtues.

"Do not accept anything as the truth if it lacks love. And do not accept anything as love which lacks truth! One without the other becomes a destructive lie." - St. Theresa Benedicta of the Cross

Further, while self-criticism is always turned inward, the less we are absorbed in ourselves the closer to humility we are. St. Therese of Lisieux writes that we must ask God immediately for forgiveness after we have fallen and then dwell on it no further. For what is the point of dwelling on ourselves and sin? This only leads to self absorption and misery. How much better it is to meditate on our Merciful Father!

Criticism can arise from things that are neither sinful nor virtuous, such as our personal appearance. These thoughts must be actively denounced but I do not believe that they must be countered with the opposite sentiment (for example: "my legs are so weak, I hate my legs" to be answered with "my legs are so strong, I love my legs"). Our bodies have flaws and it's important to realize the insignificance of this in the light of eternity. Accept yourself with charity and forbearance, offering a simple prayer of gratitude for the gift of your body, and then turn your attention outward again to God and others.

Jesus said, "A bruised reed I will not break, a smoldering wick I will not quench." Take a few minutes to draw the self-critical thoughts, one by one, out of your heart. Offer each to Jesus, meditating on His gentleness and His deep desire to enter your heart right now. Pray as you reject each criticism, "Jesus, save me."

Gratitude -

Now or in the evening, pause and reflect on one specific thing you are grateful for today, and give thanks to God for this and all the gifts in your life.