Day 16 - Attachment to Control of Others

Begin with prayer -

"God, I believe that You are searching for me and I open my heart to You today. Please clear away the things that are blocking the door to my heart."

Meditation -

We have meditated previously on the attachment to power and the related desire for control in our lives. If we are not careful, this attachment to power and desire for control can extend to the lives and actions of other people as well. It is important to realize that our attachment to the control of others is probably not the dramatic, machiavellian manipulation we may think of; using other people for our own ends, moving them like pieces on a chess board to accomplish what we want. 

 

Instead, there are far more subtle ways in which this attachment gains a foothold in our lives. As creatures of community we are made to live with other people in mutual giving and respect. We rely on other people to fulfill their responsibilities towards us. When those responsibilities are not fulfilled, particularly during childhood but truly at any point, one reaction is extreme independence. This independence manifests in exercising strict control over our environment, which includes control of other people, because our trust in what we should be able to rely on has been broken. 

 

Another consequence of our lives in community, we can seek to control others because we want what is best for them. As an outside observer, it is sometimes easier to see someone else's strengths, weaknesses, and patterns of harmful thought and behavior. This knowledge can lead us to try to make decisions for other people and prevent them from doing things we can see aren't in their best interests. Supporting the people close to us, rather than trying to control them--even for their own good--is a delicate balance that requires wisdom and grace. 

Think about the ways you seek your own will in other people's lives and where the root of this behavior stems from. Surrender your need for power and desire for control to Jesus and ask for healing from this attachment. Pray for the people close to you by name and ask God, "Not my will, but your will be done," for each of them.

Gratitude -

Now or in the evening, pause and reflect on one specific thing you are grateful for today, and give thanks to God for this and all the gifts in your life.